OH, my sweet, sweet boy is in love! Of course with me...but also with a little girl from school. He has been talking about an Audria for quite some time. Apparently, she's the only girl who likes to play Transformers with the boys at recess, which we discovered is explained by a case of mutual admiration.
The evening of the first day of school, the high school hosted a "Meet the Jags Night" at the stadium. Since Eden is now officially a Jag, we decided to finally give in to the long standing Texas tradition of meeting the football team at the beginning of the season. It was quite a spectacle - drill team, cheerleaders, marching band, choirs, etc. We learned the FMHS fight song and a few cheers. Kyle and I needed some practice, so we sang and cheered REALLY loudly. If you think we got louder every time Eden and Abby cringed and scooted further away from us, you would be correct.
Amidst the cheering, cringing and scooting, a beautiful, young (about 8), curly haired maiden ascended the stadium stairs. The young prince sitting next to me sat up straighter and brightened at the sight of the young maiden heading in his direction.
"Audria!" said the young prince with an enthusiastic wave of his hand. "I'd like to introduce you to my family!" He did.
The young maiden smiled and said hello. Then, upon seeing there were no empty seats on our viewing perch, she gracefully slid onto an empty bench behind us. The royal adviser (me) turned to the young prince and suggested he join the fair maiden behind us on her bench. He did.
Deep, meaningful conversation followed. A discussion of favorite animals, an explanation of what an astrophysicist does, and a relationship solidifying sharing of secrets. The price revealed: he still wets the bed, and the young maiden revealed: she still sleeps with her parents. (Upon hearing this, the royal adviser strongly advised the young and inexperienced prince to maybe, in the future, keep HIS little secret nugget to himself.)
Now that the "favorites" had been exchanged and secrets had been shared, the next logical step was for the young prince to meet his future in-laws and perhaps make a plea for the young maiden's hand. They journeyed together the three rows down and one row over to meet her parents. Our cunning prince decided that a detailed demonstration and explanation of how the moon was formed would hint at his desires without being too forward.
Next was the ever-popular display of prowess. Our prince led the fair maiden to the bottom of the stadium stairs and challenged the ferocious Jaguar (school mascot) to a duel. Upon seeing the beast close-up, he hoped a spirited high-five would be as impressive as a bloody duel. It was. After sitting back down, the flaxen haired maiden offered her hand to her brave prince. He proudly held it.
Heading back up the steps, the entire stadium heard the elated prince declare with gusto that he "belonged to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!" Surely a pre-emptive strike against any future difference of religion discussions.
As the stadium show drew to a close and the crowd dispersed, it was time to say goodbye. Parting was sweet sorrow...but also a hug. A later recounting of the moment went something like this: "Mom, um, she hugged me! I played it cool on the outside, but my insides were GLOWING! I feel like there are bugs crawling everywhere inside my tummy."
As we walked to the car, our starry eyed prince said, "Well, God just told me that she is the one! Tomorrow at recess, we are playing family. I'm being the dad platypus and she's being the mom turtle."
As the evening progressed, lovestruck became diarrhea-of-the-mouth-struck and the comments were as follows (in no particular order):
"Can we have Audria over for a playdate? Maybe we can take her to the science museum with us. She would love that. I would love that. I'd want to wear my very best clothes for our mini-date. Not a tuxedo or anything, just clothes maybe one step down from church clothes. And deodorant. One thing girls don't like is stinky pits."
"I'm going to buy her a treat when we go to Target." At Target I saw he only had one box of candy. I asked him if he was going to get something for her. He replied, "Yes, I'm sharing my treat with her. Sharing means more and if I count them out and it comes out uneven, I'll give her the extra."
I know how much he talks when he gets excited, so I was going to tell him to make sure to ask her questions about herself and maybe compliment her when he sees her. Leading up to that, I asked him, "Do you know what girl's really like?" He said, "Yes, I do." I said, "Oh, you do?" and he said, "Yes, a strong and sensitive man."
Later that night, I was brushing my teeth while he was in the shower. He said, "Mom, I know I'm only 8 years old, but I LOVE her. Maybe we could be junior boyfriend and girlfriend. You know, be together but save the kissing stuff for when we're older."
The shower was followed by a count out of the candy (he gave her more than he kept for himself), and a note that read "Audria, I like you! Do you like me? Check the box yes or no." He was going to catch her at recess, tell her to meet him after school and then give her the candy and note. The next morning, he said that having slept on it, he thinks that maybe he should slow things down a bit. He took the candy, but left the note at home. When he couldn't find her at school, he ate the candy.
Looks like happily ever after can wait a few years. Thank goodness!